Players to Avoid

It's that time of the year again where baseball starts back up and that means fantasy baseball has been going on for a month. In light of several mock drafts I have done as well as all the player news I continue to read up on, I've composed a list (albeit no where near a complete list) of all the players I want to emphasize the importance to stay away from and NOT draft. These are the players that go relatively within the draft rounds, but are otherwise "foul's gold." That have on occasion, made us all believe that they would be useful in some way, but have dropped the ball in a huge way.

1. Josh Beckett (SP)

The guy gets injured more often than any other starting pitcher I would care to mention. And yet every year there's mention of how "he feels good this year" and "I think he's gonna show everyone he still matters." Well he doesn't. Beckett posted an atrocious 5.78 ERA and 1.54 WHIP last year. He was out for most of the season and so was only able to get 6 wins. Here's the thing that drives me crazy the most: He's out every season. It never fails that he ends up injured and missing half the season. And the part of the season he does play in so terrible that it simply is not worth to draft this guy ever.





2. Carlos Pena (1B)

He posted one of the worst Avg. ever at .196. Let that number sink in for a second... .196. He struck out 158 times last year. Pena earned the other outs because he consistently hit toward the right field every time and every team knew that and was ready for him. Sure he is in the NL now and in a more hitter friendly park, but ask yourself, "Is that enough for me to trust him?" Not for me when there are plenty of other players on the board that can provide just as many HR's and RBI's with an Avg that is above .200.



3. Mark Reynolds (3B)

See Carlso Pena and then add: Not even in the NL will his Avg increase. And now Reynolds is the AL in the hardest division in the AL? I'm sorry, but that's a deal breaker for me and once again, there are plenty of other players out there that hit HR's and above .200. If you're really desperate for HR's, then by all means draft him. But I warned you.









4. Daisuke Matsuzaka (SP)

Let me give you a tip right now; the only good pitchers on the Red Sox, are Jon Lester and Clay Buchholz. This is a guy, who like Beckett, does not produce where you need him to. Once again, there are better pitchers to pick up during the later rounds that will give you more of a high yield than this very high risk.















5. Carlos Zambrano (SP)

Although his ERA is better than the other two pitchers on this list, everything else of Zambrano's is terrible. Only 117 strikeouts last year, and an entire month off in suspension due to a severe drama attack. His walk rate is atrocious and since he's on the Cubs, it's a bit of a gamble to hope for any amount of Wins.















6. Brandon Inge (3B)

Think Mark Reynolds and Carlos Pena, but without the HR's. In short, he has nothing of value except for the 2011 projections that are way to generous. Even if you're in an AL only league, it's still insane to pick this guy up for your middle infield. It's actually best just to leave that position empty if for some reason there are no other options.

XC Oddities

How do you begin to describe cross country as a sport? The sad truth is that many would try and argue that running distances is not enough to be called a sport. Well for me, it became my life especially during senior year in high school. The tradition for most of Brentsville’s runners was that at senior year you had to work harder than you had during your previous years because more often than not, you probably had slacked off earlier and now you had one year left to show for as a senior XC runner. Which is exactly how I had participated in cross country, I had joined when I was a sophomore and until I was a senior I did not put forth my best efforts. So senior year was a sort of “crunch time” for me and I drastically increased my miles and role on the team.

            The short story is that even with my best efforts I did not accomplish any of my goals I had set out for, however I had experienced one of the best sports ever conceived and one of the weirdest teams that could possibly be imagined. From our unofficial rainbow trout mascot named Brucey to the underground sock’em bopper fights, our team was never short on character.

            To begin describing the quirkiness of the Brentsville Cross Country team, Coach Dulin would be the first oddity. This is a man who lived and breathed coaching cross country claiming that “When I die, you will have to bury me on the cross country course.” We joke about it what with his conventions he goes to and the books he reads, but the real show of his involvement of this sport was when he conceived the idea for speed dating as a form of team bonding.

            During a romantic date with the misses, our coach had picked out the romantic comedy Hitch to watch. When the speed dating scene came on, he realized that “Gee, this would be a good idea for the team,” and quickly went into the kitchen to write a memo down on a napkin. The next day he gathered us all together and began to match the guy’s team up with the girl’s team. To us, this seemed as if he wanted to breed a super runner and at several points during the year we actually had couples on the team and it seemed as if the Dulin’s plan might just succeed. Coach Dulin seemed to have this all knowing power in which he always knew who was dating who on the team. Creepy? Yes, but then again I suppose if he was trying to breed us, then he would have to have knowledge of us the same way dog breeders knew where a new litter came from.

            In fact the extent of his breeding attempts did not end there. Dulin and the coach from our neighboring high school, Battlefield, would constantly organize races and events with one another despite the difference in divisions, us being double A and Battlefield being triple A. So naturally it was only inevitable before one of our runners began dating one of theirs. And it just so happened to be my friend Ian.

            During a week long summer camp, Ian met a lovely Battlefield girl Rachel and the courtship began. At the end of the week, the camp organized a dance for all the teams in attendance and obviously Ian went with Rachel. Now, as fellow teammates and friends, we couldn’t just sit by and let Ian dance with Rachel without any awkwardness and so one of our runners in a very creepy and slightly homosexual manner came behind Ian while he was bumping and grinding and began massaging his shoulders. Who does this, you might ask? Well of course it would be my best friend Robby who is another subject of weirdness entirely. As Ian recounted the story to us, he thought for a moment that he was going to be raped what with the constant “shushing” and the occasional encouragements that Robby gave him. Fortunately for Ian, it did not impede his chances with her as we later observed him kissing her.

            From then on, it was immensely fun to get reactions out of Ian by insulting the decency of Rachel by claiming her whoredom. Now of course Rachel was the least likely candidate to ever be a prostitute, but it didn’t stop us from telling what would later be called, Rachel Jokes. I remember one such conversation where I said, “Ian, your girlfriend is like the village bicycle, everyone’s gotten a ride.” And on cue, another runner added in, “So she’s fast and cheap?” Ian’s witty response was to throw his shoes at us at approximately 102 miles an hour.

            During the same camp we found a way to keep ourselves entertained while we waited for the next workout, underground fights with Sock’em Boppers. We would find an empty quad and circle around the combatants and cheer them on as they proceeded to beat the living shit out of each other for three rounds. Now Sock’em Boppers say they’re more fun than a pillow fight, but they aren’t as structurally sound as a pillow. Within a matter of minutes the Sock’em Boppers would be either deflated or popped. Not that it was much of a difference when it was inflated. Sock’em Boppers were made for six year olds and with our 16 to 18 year old bodies we could still feel the punches through them.

            The most obvious show of this was when we had Robby go against a-would-be UFC fighter, Matt. Now I had the privilege of fighting Matt before. When we were about to go to bed one night, I was walking through the hall when someone says “Hey Richard will fight him!” Without thinking I replied with “OK” and put the Sock’em Bopper gloves on. I only really understood what I was getting into when I watched Matt practice punching the wall with blindingly fast speed. Even then, I thought “Hey, it’s more fun than a pillow fight!” and never conceived the idea of anything less than a good time. When we began, it seemed like any other fight, but then Matt struck the side of my head and I staggered backwards and for a moment, did not see anything. That was pretty much when I knew that I should probably say enough and quit.

            Before, the fights were more just for fun and something we could laugh at. But Matt took it to a whole new level of intensity especially when he broke Robby’s nose. Seriously, his nose was visibly crooked. After that we thought we should give the underground fights a rest…for a day. When we decided to fight again, we naturally had to see a rematch between Robby and Matt and this time Matt did the favor of fixing Robby’s broken nose, by punching it on the other side. Unfortunately for us one of the camp counselors thought it was fun to watch and saw Robby stagger back with blood running down his nose. The counselor made the executive decision that it was best that the two retire and that Sock’em Bopper fights be permanently discontinued.

            As if our team isn’t bizarre enough, our strange devotion to Brucey will find a way to prove we’re not just unique, but we have a direct connection to our inner child. Brucey is a rainbow trout, specifically a stuff animal rainbow trout. The tradition is that every captain of the boy’s team from the previous year passes it down to the rising captain with a huge speech on how you must treat Brucey. “Brucey must always ride in the front seat, even if there’s a girl in the car. Brucey must always be treated with the utmost respect. And at all costs, Brucey must be protected from the Girl’s Team because they will always wish him harm." How this tradition was started is unclear because the original story had been mistranslated. Some say Brucey came from space and brings glory and unimaginable strength to all who worship him, while others say that he was owned by a previous captain who wanted to show that a stuff animal was more important than his girlfriend.

            However he was spawned, every year the girl’s team tries to steal Brucey and this year was no different. One of our captains, Ray Delgado, was at home with his girlfriend Alex (who was one of the girl’s team captains). Unbeknownst to Ray, Alex had called several of the girls to come over, and while Ray was seduced by Alex, they stole Brucey.

            It was not till several days later that we discovered the fate of Brucey. On the scoreboard of our football field he hung, his stomach cut open and his stuffing thrown disgracefully on the ground.

            We held a memorial service for Brucey in which we resurrected him by replacing his stuffing back inside him and sewing him up the best we could. The different color string used to stitch his wound would forever be a scar to Brucey. Not soon after, Ray broke up with Alex and it was too much of a coincidence to not be about Brucey. At least that’s what we like to believe.

            Of course there are more stories to be told of the Brentsville Cross Country team, but most of these stories would be unfit for ears while others would be ones would be a bit too embarrassing to retell. Nonetheless, these stories shaped the attitude of my cross country team and it has been hard to top them or experience anything remotely close to them.